Nowhere Slow

Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understandThat a-hole bands have a-hole fansBloodhound’s the name and the Gang’s to blameLike Chan n’ Chin the Siamese twins it’s one in the sameSo fame ain’t gonna live foreverNever worrying about dying cause it can’t be any betterBut whatever happens to happen always happens […]

Magna Cum Nada

Why try? I’m that guyHolden Caulfield from "Catcher In The Rye"Put away ‘cause he wasn’t all thereLike a jigsaw puzzle you might compareMe to him not a liver but wurstBeen much better off as a still birthBig let down unparalleledLike the last episode of "Seinfeld"Or Jack Lemmon in "Glengarry Glen Ross"Pepsi Challenge took it lostJust […]

Take The Long Way Home

May I have your attention please?May I have your attention please? Did you ever read Voltaire’s "Candide"?He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speedNot a quote of what he wrote but a paraphraseMake it up as you go Keyser SozeHighlights yes but don’t underline ‘emJust live for N.O.W. like Gloria SteinemLife is like […]

Lift Your Head Up High ( And Blow Your Brains Out)

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves? Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze? Do you contemplate what a grape nut is? Or could you live drinkin’ your own whiz? Are you hooked on a feeling are you […]

Legend In My Spare Time

Ashes to ashes and funks to funkyDaddy Long Legs is a mean ass honkyAnd Jimmy Pop ain’t no heiny hobbit gaybeAin’t no big meaty chunks in my thick brown gravyCause I’m a Loch Ness a Loch Ness a Loch Ness monsterJerry’s Kids are knockin’ at my door, "Could you be a sponsor?"Tiny Bubbles in my […]